Wednesday 2 February 2011

Fruity Answers - the first!

I posed some questions regarding scenarios I have encountered during 2011 thus far.

The first considered meeting a woman who, at some stage in her life, had an abortion. Now it is obvious that this is raw and painful She's still raw about it and now, some time after the event we find her wracked with guilt and grieving, feeling the pain of the loss for which she was responsible. .

Do I condemn her because of the abortion?
I don't think so, for Christians are not in the business of issuing condemnation but of correcting and restoring. I wasn't part of the process that led the person to consider and take up the option of an abortion, but I am now part of the process which sees her restored and moving forward with God.

It is so easy to judge when you're outside of the situation and whilst I consider a pro-life stance to be the only approach that is Biblical, I find my Bible telling me to restore those who have been caught up in sin, 'gently'. If asked, we need to say that the decision taken wouldn't be our choice and move on. There is great potential for righteous (which usually means wrong) indignation and for us to find ourselves sinning by our response.

What does it say in matthew Chapter seven? Oh yeah, don't judge because if you do then you're asking to be judged the same way you do it! First rule, what is the Biblical way forward and how would you like to be corrected? (and that's before we consider the loss of a child, regardless of the reason)

Comfort her over the loss of her child?
Well in short, the answer is 'yes'. A life has been lost and there is a mixture of grieving, guilt, regret and loads of fear besides. regardless of how the point has been reached, it has been reached and there is a child who has been lost. In days gone by when I was involved with both LIFE and SPUC I used to encounter a great many women who had never been counselled and and grief-stricken over the lost of their child. Often the situation would be worse as they reached the EDD (or the anniversary of it) and they needed the same counselling and support that a miscarriage or stillbirth woman would need (along with help over the part they'd played in the loss too!).


Tell her 'you're forgiven' and that 'it's done now'?
Remembering the words of 1 John chapter nine:

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Simple then, isn't it? If the person has acknowledged their sin then forgiveness is part of the transaction. What right do I have to pronounce what God doesn't or deny what His word, and nature, makes real? This is not to deny what has happened and it is not to ignore or diminish - we have to move on, living in the past is what dead people do!

Do I leave, rushing to be free of this sinner?
Some people take this approach, but this is reason so many errors and misjudgments become the norm. We fail to engage and by absenting ourselves give what is often taken to be tacit approval to the act or attitude. Those leaving often tell themselves they are making a moral stand, but rarely is this communicated by them and even less rarely is it understood or lived in by the person who is left there. They see no conflict and thus assume that their position has some merit.

There is much more to the scenario than that given here. As ever, the key is relationship and asking ourselves that perennial question, 'What Would Jesus Do?' and combining this with our Bibles to see, 'What did Jesus Do Then?'. The Micah, 'Mercy, Justice & Humility' is useful too!

I hope this helps move the discussions further with those who are looking at the issue of calling and perhaps makes us a little more responsive as ministers and members of the Church.

Pax

2 comments:

UKViewer said...

Vic, Sorry I read the earlier questions you posed and did not have time to think about them.

I think the approaches taken are dead right - it is Pastoral Care at its most acute.

Bringing the person through it to be renewed in Jesus Christ is the ultimate outcome.

I have discussed my opposition to abortion elsewhere - and have come to see as you have described, that who am I to judge?

I look forward to the next. I might actually have done something about noting my own responses by then for comparison.

Anonymous said...

That was a very well considered post. I did find it useful to read.

Jesus was very clear when he told us to "Love one another as I have loved you" He didn't hold a grudge against a sinner for what they had done. Neither did he seek to leave their prescence, he actually sought them out to be there for them and (as in the case of the women who would have been stoned) to guide them to righousness ("Go now and sin no more")

If we all fall short then the only thing we can do is love one another and loves only response is to do the best for the other person which is, as UKViewer says, bringing them to be renewed in Jesus Christ.

Looking forward to reading more like this.