Saturday 5 February 2011

Fruit goes fourth!

Here's what I thought might be a simple one, but going by the responses so far, perhaps not!

Lady comes to the door wanting a baptism for one of her kids. She has a few of them, each has a different father and it appears that she is pregnant again. (turns out it's a different father from any of the others).

What do you do?
Tell her she needs to do course and attend for six months.
I know a minister who does this as it's a sure fire way to get the person enquiring to look elsewhere. If all else fail, include a baptism course and a few other hurdles and they are sure to vanish for ever.

But if we do this then any chance of engaging and building a relationship with the person and their family has gone. Any hope of bringing some acceptance and engagement on behalf of the Church, and hopefully therefore God, has gone.

Tell her I can't baptise the child because baptism requires 'true repentance on the part of the candidate'.
I've recently been told of a minister who hasn't baptised a child fro years on this basis! But of course if paedobaptism is good enough for the early Church . . .

A good starter for a group discussion this, will give it a try some time soon!

Shrug and give her a date to suit her.
If we do have clergy who do this, is it any wonder that we have so many people troubled by padeobaptism?

Engage and look at building a relationship to address the many spitiual, moral and practical issues before me - looking to be a friend?
I think this is what I did. My response was to invite her in and tell her that of course we'd be happy to do a christening (that's what they call baptism). We had the usual surprise that it was free and then we began to chat about the family and the journey that brought her to the church door. Step by step - no condemnation, just a willingness to dialogue. Why does she want the child baptised? What does baptism mean?

We can't ask if we don't engage, can we?

The engagements thus far are all contentious and potentially crisis-ridden. If we engage with integrity, honesty and love we can at least find a place where peace might be found and unity, even if it is perhaps a little tense at times, becomes a reality.

I hope the posts have served to help with the thinking of those who read and helped shaped their engagements, even if we differ theologically or otherwise.

Thank you for you for your comments - all are valued, even when I might disagree.

Pax

1 comment:

UKViewer said...

Vic, I come fresh from a Pastoral Exercise involving something of this topic.

I think that the approach must be that we should never refuse baptism on the grounds of suitability (I don't believe we can in law).

The Pastoral approach of welcome, encouragement, discussion, befriending and providing whatever support is so important. Surely, this is mission in a nutshell.

We will be judged by how we treat others - and turning them away, or putting them off by placing obstacles in the way, smacks of moral cowardice - surely, our call is to spread the good news - and by bring someone in this position into the fold, providing baptism for children, may well be the encouragement for the parent(s) to come to see the wonder and beauty of God's love for them, as well as their children.

The chink in the armour is perhaps the church school admissions business - I know that the forms filled out, need the recommendation of the Parish Priest, who provides a filter for the admissions process - do we lie? or are we be honest with people, asking them about their future intentions in regard to becoming part of our community?

Again, a question of moral courage, but also one, where the inevitable question to ask is 'what would Jesus do now'.

Do we dilute our faith and beliefs and have open door to everyone, or do we take a longer view in that any contact is better than none?

I favour the second but would also take care to ensure that we give them reasons to come back. A balancing act to get it right - but the potential rewards for those who come and stay are heavenly.

I will retire now to finish a reflection on a book about Walking the Narrow path - hard business it is to.