I was the victim of a grievous assault this week!
Minding my own business, the dog-collar proudly proclaiming that I was a 'vicar for hire' and that all you needed to do was stop me and buy one, I was assaulted by a chap who wanted to tell me all about Argostide and ask me what time the midnight service was. I explained that the midnight service was timed such that we'd be doing the service when midnight came and that eleven forty-five would therefore appear to be a good time for that.
He gratefully accepted the information and then asked whether there was anywhere that did it a bit earlier, say eight o'clock because he'd like to be there to sing 'all those lovely old carols' but he'd also got a party he wanted to be at a bit later. I explained that midnight was a bit special as it provided a way of delineating between Christmas Eve and Christmas day, after all we can sing 'yea Lord we greet thee, born this happy morning from 00:01, can't we?
He looked a bit crestfallen and then asked whether there was a later service instead then? I asked him what time the party finished. He replied that it was set to be an 'all-nighter' and so I suggested that perhaps this indicated that he should come to the 08:30. Sadly, he'd either be in bed or too drunk for that, but he really wanted to sing the carols because that's what Christmas was all about. (So it's not Santa, not the Kiddies but it's the musical aspects that make it Christmas - more grist to the mill).
I explained that we had a 'carols by candlelight' service the Sunday before and that this would provide the opportunity he sought to sing 'all those lovely old carols' and get a mince pie and a glass or two of mulled wine into the bargain. He nodded (unconvincingly) and turned to leave, wishing me a 'happy holidays'!
Argostide and 'happy holidays'! Both of these, as I understand it, deny everything that Christmas is and is about. One indicates that Santa came 'for the kiddies' to bring presents and to encourage us to build health credit card balances (healthy for the companies, not the customers) and the other recognises that there's a few days off work to get larruped, engage in casual sex (a radio item this week reported that 'the average person' will have 2.4 sexual encounters over the christmas period), measure our happiness quotient (which appears to be higher if you're spending!) and lump Christmas into a mishmash of Christian, folk and other religious beliefs and ideas!
"Actually," I said, "Merry Christmas is more accurate!" "Yeah, whatever," came the reply!
Bah, humbug!
Anyone fancy coming to an eight pm midnight service?
4 comments:
Well, one of my churches does have a 9 p.m. "Midnight" service on Christmas Eve - difficult for clergy to be in two places at once, as it's not one of the powers conferred by ordination, whatever anyone else believes!
Great! Let me have the address and I'll send him over.
That said, we do have one or two of the rural churches who do 9pm and 9:30pm 'Christmas Communions' for exactly the same reason. Makes me realise how spoiled I am to be minister of but one church.
No, he didn't really say "happy holidays" did he? We might as well all go and overdose on McDonalds right now.
It's enough to turn you into a Daily Mail reader.
He did indeed say, "Happy Holidays!"
A bit of an overdose on the Americanisms!
A while back, some doctor (of Art I presume) was speaking about having organised an exhibition for the Tate. Apparently this was the 'funnest' job she had done since working for the gallery and sh hoped it would continue!
Aaaaaargh!
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